BDSM self-check
BDSM Test: Dom, Sub or Switch? A 10-Question Self-Check
Ten questions about how you like to share control, with a key at the end.
This is a ten-question self-check, not a scientific or clinical test. Answer A, B or C to each question, then count your letters: mostly A leans dominant, mostly B leans submissive, a spread leans switch and mostly C means you are still exploring. Your answers can change, and no quiz can tell you who you are.
How to use it
Not sure whether you are a dom, a sub or a switch? Choose the option closest to how you feel today, not the one you think you should choose. If none fits, take the nearest. Keep your tally on paper; the key sits under the questions. If the words are new, read dom, sub and switch explained first, or browse our guides.
Answer the ten questions
On a good evening with someone you like, who sets the pace?
- AI do, and I enjoy it.
- BThey do, and I enjoy handing it over.
- CI haven’t worked out which I’d prefer.
A partner says you decide everything tonight, from the plan to when it ends. How does that sound?
- AGood. I like deciding.
- BHeavy. I’d rather be told.
- CIt depends who is asking.
How do you feel about giving clear instructions to someone who has agreed to follow them?
- AComfortable, even keen.
- BUneasy. I’d rather be on the other end.
- CCurious, though I’ve never tried.
How do you feel about following clear instructions from someone you trust?
- AFine, though I’d rather give them.
- BRelaxed. It is where I feel best.
- CI can’t say yet.
Which part of sharing control appeals most?
- ATaking charge and being trusted with it.
- BLetting go and being looked after.
- CNothing stands out yet.
What does trust look like to you when one person leads?
- ABeing trusted to lead well.
- BTrusting someone else to lead well.
- CI’m still working out what I would need.
How do you feel about a few agreed rules, such as how you address each other?
- AI’d enjoy setting them.
- BI’d enjoy keeping them.
- CI’d want to understand them first.
How do you like an evening of play to build?
- AAt a pace I control.
- BWith some surprises, inside limits we agreed.
- CSlowly, with plenty of talking.
Afterwards, what do you most want?
- ATo check my partner is all right and look after them.
- BTo be looked after and talk it through.
- CI haven’t thought about it, and I’d want to agree it first.
How would you feel about swapping roles with the same partner?
- ANot for me. I’d rather lead.
- BNot for me. I’d rather follow.
- CCurious. I’d try it with the right person.
What your result suggests
Count your As, Bs and Cs. If C is your highest count, read the last result. If not, and your A and B counts are within one of each other, you have a spread, so read the switch result. Otherwise your highest count is your result. Tied? Read both.
Mostly A: leans dominant
You like setting the pace and being trusted with it. Authority is negotiated, not assumed, so read what the role expects in dom, sub and switch explained, then try dom and sub dating.
Mostly B: leans submissive
You like handing over the pace and being looked after. A sub keeps the right to stop and brings honest limits to the table. Read what a sub is in dom, sub and switch explained, then try dom and sub dating.
A spread: leans switch
You enjoy both sides, or it depends on the person. That fits a switch, who can take either role at different times or with different people. Say so on your profile and talk about who leads before you meet.
Mostly C: still exploring
That is a fine place to be. Read BDSM for beginners, which starts with words and conversation, not acts, and talk to someone you trust before you try anything.
What a quiz cannot tell you
A conversation starter, not a diagnosis. We wrote these ten questions ourselves. They are not a scientific or clinical test, nobody has validated them, and no quiz can tell you who you are.
Use your result as a way into a conversation, then try the checklist and negotiation guide when you are ready for specifics. If working through the questions stirs up worry or shame, a doctor or a kink-aware counsellor is the right person to talk to.
BDSM self-check questions
How does the key work?
Count how many As, Bs and Cs you chose. Mostly A leans dominant, mostly B leans submissive and mostly C means you are still exploring. If your A and B counts are within one of each other, that is a spread, which leans switch.
Can my result change?
Yes. Answers shift with the partner, the situation and what you learn, and someone who leans one way can enjoy the other side too. Your result describes how you feel today, so retake it any time.
Do I need a partner to take it?
No. It is a solo check you can do in private. With a partner, you can each answer separately and compare, which gives you a starting point for talking about what you both want. Nothing in it asks you to try anything.
Am I a dom or a sub?
Only you can say. This self-check shows which way your answers lean today, and our dom, sub and switch guide explains each role. It is a prompt for reflection, not a clinical measure, and for anything about your health, ask a doctor or a kink-aware professional.
What if I get mostly C?
It means you are still exploring, which is a perfectly good place to be. Read the beginners’ guide, talk to someone you trust and take your time. You do not need a label to talk about what interests you.
Take your result into a conversation
Tag your role and talk to doms, subs and switches near you.
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